マーク・ウォレンの「リトル・ヴォイス舞台版ブログ」

仕事もなく家に一人でいると、電話が鳴った。エージェントだ。
「リトル・ヴォイスのオーディションが来てる。ウェストエンドで初の大規模なリバイバルだ」
自分「ユアン・マクレガーの役？」
エージェント「違う。マイケル・ケインの方。配役を若返らせたらしい」
自分「もっとすんなり役くれないのかな」
エージェント「プロデューサーはお前の名前も知らないって」

Hustleのせいで、「ありえんほど美男だけどかなりおバカ」なイメージだったマーク・ウォレンですが、文章上手いです。リズミカルでテンポがいい。ウェストエンドのオーディション風景も分かります*1。

「与えられる時間は5分。これだけでこの作品に必要な人間だと納得させなければいけない。ドアを開けた瞬間に始まっている」

プロデューサー、脚本家、演出家、キャストの一人が並ぶ前で、慣れない北部訛りで演じて冷や汗をかいたり、「オーディション会場では審査員の役職と名前を覚えるのが大事」と言っておきながら、途中まで脚本家と演出家を取り違えていたり。
でも緊張していても軽口を叩いて空気を作って行くマークはダニー・ブルーそのまま？いい意味での緊張感が伝わってきます。舞台好きな方は是非ご一読を！一覧はこちら（古い記事ほど下なので、一番下までスクロールダウンしてからお読みください）

Marc Warren's Little Voice diary

In the first of a new series, Marc Warren spills the beans on life behind the scenes of the forthcoming West End revival of The Rise and Fall of Little Voice.

guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 2 September 2009 09.00 BST

Home alone and unemployed. The phone rings. My agent. "They want to see you for The Rise and Fall of Little Voice. The first major revival in the West End." Me: "The Ewan McGregor part?" Agent: "No, the Michael Caine part. They're going younger. It's at the Vaudeville, Wednesday at 3pm." Me: "Can't they just offer it?" Agent: "No, the producer has never heard of you."

Vaudeville, Wednesday, 3pm. I sit clutching a script and sporting a quiff. The script reads: "Man comes in, 40s, in a suit, hair quiffed slightly." This is the attention to detail that is going to get me the gig and blow them away. A door opens and Nica Burns, the producer, appears: "Marc, welcome to my theatre." Straight away I'm on. You have five minutes in a room usually. Five minutes to convince whoever is sitting on the other side of the table that this production needs YOU. The clock is ticking the moment the door opens.

I am introduced to the panel sitting behind the table. Alongside Nica there's Jim Cartwright, the playwright; Terry Johnson, the director; and Sarah, an actor who will be reading with me. Immediately, in all my dazzle, I have forgotten who is who. It's key here to remember names and know who to look at. With four faces, ideally a 25% spread of attention will keep all happy but who's the one hiring? After a good few minutes, I have listened attentively to only one of them. I'm thinking, "Why is Jim the writer doing all the talking and the director not speaking?" when I have a moment of eureka. Jim is in fact the award-winning director Terry Johnson and not the award-winning writer Jim Cartwright. Thankfully all this has played in my mind and none will be the wiser.

Terry: "We are looking for the third part of our triangle." Me: "Great, who are the other two parts?" Terry: "Diana Vickers from X Factor, who is going to be fantastic and Lesley Sharp who I think is one of the best actresses in the country." I agree wholeheartedly on both and open my script to blow them away with my reading of the character Ray Say, the northern showbiz promoter who sees his own future sparkle in his discovery of Little Voice.

I start reading. Lancashire. My best Peter Kay. After a few lines, I stop. "That was terrible, let's start again." Thankfully, I said that, not Terry. I start again and stop again, mumble a bit, get angry at myself and take my leather jacket off. "It doesn't sound how it did it my head," I say. They smile. Christ, I'm losing it. I've used up all my lives, whatever happens I can't stop this time. We get through the scene. Then we do another. I offer to do more but Terry says he's seen enough. Enough? Is that good or ... bad? The eternal dilemma as I shake their hands and thank them for getting me in and exit upstage left.

Days pass ... The phone rings. Agent: "Just heard from Little Voice. Jim says you've got 'crackle' as an actor. They want to recall you on Friday."

Friday comes around and I'm ready. It'll be the same room, I know the script better and I know which one is Terry and Jim. I'm good, I'm set, nothing can throw me ... Nica appears, "We're not in the room today." What! Where is she going? I follow through a door. In the distance I see people ? Terry, Jim and Lesley Sharp. Terry: "It's not really an audition, we know you can do it. We just thought we'd put you both on stage and see what happens." This is an audition, be in no doubt of that. The clock is ticking. I get a foot on a velvet seat and inelegantly crawl on to my first West End stage. Lesley gets up a lot easier, but then she's already got the part. Terry gives some thoughts and we start with Ray's entrance.

Straight off the bat, Lesley is hilarious and incredibly giving. I can feel her willing me on. We get through a bit and I stop. Christ, here we go again. We start again and get though it. When we finish, I say: "Well, I can confirm you've made the right decision with Lesley." They laugh. She is going to be fab in this. We go again and I give it my best shot and before long, Terry has seen enough and I'm crawling off the stage and walking down the Strand and texting a frienfriend that I've blown the audition. The phone rings. Agent: "They want you to go back in, now." I walk back up the Strand, in the theatre and down the aisle and when I get to the stage something happens that has never happened in 20 years of doing this job. They offer me the part on the spot.

Over the next two weeks, my agent and Nica talk money, billing, press and fine print until the deal is done and I've verbally signed five months of my life away on a "northern showbiz fairytale".

*1:実はこの公演はマークにとってウェストエンドデビュー